I hate that I love you
by LoveOfLight
Summary: Christian and Ana have always hated each other and this causes an underlining tension that has lasted for years. At the age of 23 Ana is ready to make the next step with her boyfriend José and Christian is buried in his work. When they meet again after four years of change will things be the same or will they find a new hope in each other?
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fic so sorry if anything does not sound right. I also realised that Ana is 19 and technically wouldn't be served alcohol but let's just imagine a fake ID please.**

 **All characters belong to E.**

Ana

 _4 Years Ago – Age 19_

"Mia you did not tell me he was going to be here?!" I shuffled out of her closet midway through pulling my jeans up – I looked around her room. No Mia. My inner self screamed, god damn the world and god damn Mia. To say I was pissed would be an understatement. Mia had just dropped the bomb that her stupid asshole of a brother was coming out with us tonight and I'm really not in the mood for that excuse of a human being to grace us with his presence.

Me and Christian grey had never got along. Mia and I had been friends since kindergarten, we had brought the best out in each other and to say I couldn't live without her would be true. But her god damn snarky, moody and frankly dick of a brother had somehow always managed to piss me off. I'm not a bad person though – I'm pretty sure he hates my guts too. I'll never be sure why we hate each other but habits make it hard not to.

Mia suddenly appeared looking hot (as usual) but slightly scared "I'm so sorry Ana, I know I promised a girls night out but mom insisted that he should tag along – we haven't seen him in forever" I looked at her and sighed , she looked pleadingly at me almost desperate and I broke "ok, ok you win he can come , but I hope you know I am not happy about it and you owe me big time" Mia practically jumped on top of me and started giggling like a kid finding out they were going to Disney land . I was happy that she found such joy in this but for me the night had just turned sour.

After getting a taxi we hit the club and got an advance pass to the front because Mia 'knew the security guy'. We walked in and I offered to get the first round which Mia happily accepted as some brown eyed guy spun her off to the dance floor. I sometimes wondered why Mia was friends with me, I was so plain, so quiet and she was just the opposite. I love her I do but it's something that always scares me. I forget the worry and order two shots of tequila and look around the club to try and find Mia but some ass had decided to stand right in front of me. As I looked up I stare straight into the cold dark eyes of Christian grey.

" Anastasia what a pleasant surprise, I haven't seen you in a while "He smirks and my inner self hisses – I saw him two weeks ago and yet he acts like we haven't seen each other In years. " it's been two weeks you ass or did you pick up memory loss from your STD ?" He laughs "Still as fiery as ever I see Miss Steele – I have missed you these passed…(he thinks for a moment)… two weeks" I glare at him and begin to reply back when Mia runs over with her arms wide open practically pushing Christian to the floor. I sigh at drain back my shot. I have always been envious of Mia having two brothers that love her deeply and it saddens me to watch what I never had. So I drain another shot and tell Mia I'm feeling sick and leave her to have a good time with her brother. It's the best I can do right now – for everyone.

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's a taster of the main relationships I'll be focusing on in this fic. Not sure when the next Chapter will be up but hopefully it will be soon. Thanks – S x**


	2. Chapter 2

**So I decided to upload this chapter today as well as I feel like I need to set the basis for the four years later. I will be uploading as often as possible.**

 **All characters belong to E.L. James**

4 years later

 _Ana – 23 years old_

I stare at the ceiling in my room as I lay lying on the bed. I sigh – when did life become so plain? I've been dating José for around two years now and life feels so repetitive, so bland. I know I'm ready to take the next step but he definitely isn't. I hear my phone ring from my desk and I groan as I pull myself up from my bed. It's Mia, no doubt asking me to attend the masquerade charity event again. She knows that I've refused every time she's asked but she still persists. It's not that I don't want to go because I do , it's that José won't want to and I'll be alone as usual. Then everyone will give those eyes – the eyes of pity; and I cannot stand it, I hate the pity so I'd rather not go.

"Hey Mia, what's up?" "Anaaaaaaaaaaaaaa please come, I'll pay you – anything please?!" I sigh and flop back onto my bed. "Mia I really don't think it's a good idea" I frown, why should I refuse though? Who cares about José and his I can't be bothered attitude. I'm a strong independent woman (at least that's what my inner self tells me) "actually Mia ill come but only for an hour, then I'm leaving" there's a slight pause and then "OOHHHHHHH MYY GOODDDD ANAAAAA I LOVE YOU" I laugh for the first time in what feels like ages, I love seeing Mia happy it's one of the things that makes me feel good about our friendship. "I'd better not regret it Mia" "You won't I promise, be there at 7 and don't forget a mask – love you Ana banana" She hangs up and once again I'm listening to the sound of my own thoughts. I just lay there thinking, wondering what exactly I've got myself into.

 _6:30pm_

I stare at the woman in the mirror. She isn't me, she's different – she is free. My gown was something I had saved for anything like this event. Having a friend like Mia meant having numerous outfits for different occasions. I hear a car beep its horn outside and I pear out the window and laugh. A white limousine waits outside with Mia hanging out the window smiling up at me, I smile back and wave. I'm going to have a good time tonight I can feel it and nothing will stop me.

As we arrive at the event we are greeted by the paparazzi (no surprise there) so we push our way past not answering any questions. It's another thing I admire about Mia - her ability to deal with people who invade her life on a daily basis. When we get to the main entrance Grace and Carrick Grey are waiting for us. It's been a while since we last spoke but that does not stop them from giving me an enthusiastic greeting "Ana? Gosh dear you look so grown up, I didn't even recognise you. You look absolutely stunning!" I blush as grace finishes her words "Hello Mr and Mrs Grey, it's a pleasure to see you again" They laugh outright and Mia joins in "Ana please you don't need to be so formal, go and enjoy yourself and promise me that you will take part in the dance auction? I start laughing then until I realise she isn't joking. I look at grace and she looks right at me with such deeply sad eyes and once again another Grey has broken me "of course Grace anything to help" "Excellent thank you Ana, and Mia please try and find Christian I haven't seen him arrive and he said he'd be here by now" Mia rolls her eyes and nods at her mother. We enter the main ballroom and I am blown away, I forgot the beauty and work that goes into these kind of events. It's mesmerising.

Mia says she is going to get drinks and will call Christian. Which brings me to my next point. Christian Grey. I haven't seen him in about four years, since he went to work in Seattle Mia said that he didn't visit home as much, only to certain events that may help him with his ever growing business. He is obviously the same moody, selfish and arrogant man I knew four years ago and Mia even agrees that he is a recluse. Oh did I mention he is a billionaire, he literally owns Seattle and is their own 'heartthrob'. It make me laugh really because who in their right mind would deal with Christian Grey? Not me that's for sure, you'd have to be high or just insane.

When it is announced that the auction is about to start I think about leaving because dancing with another man when having a boyfriend does not look that great. But unfortunately Grace catches my eye and pulls me to the stage behind a row of seemingly beautiful women. Why the hell would someone pay for a dance with plain old me when these women are here? I feel out of my depth and I start wishing that I'd never agreed to such a stupid idea. When it was my turn I heard silence and I honestly wanted to just die right there – I knew no one wou- "20,000" a man in a purple mask shouts " 35,000" another shouts " 50,000" "65,000" "70,000" "70,000 going to the man in the pur-"

"100,000" The whole room gasps and turn to the man who spoke, he looks as if he just arrived and is wearing a black satin mask that outlines his beautiful, enchanting eyes. My inner self screams with joy but on the outside I am frozen in shock – Mia practically had to carry me of the stage. A man I do not know just payed 100,000 dollars to dance with me? What is going on?

When it is time to dance I find his eyes immediately in the crowd of people, he smirks and walks forward "shall we?" he offers out his hand which I graciously take. We dance in silence for what seems like hours until the song ends. I can feel his hand on my back and his breath on my neck and I suddenly can't concentrate. He is an Adonis, so perfectly made and well-mannered - I just wish we could have stayed like that forever. But unfortunately for me fairy tales don't exist as my mother reminds me every time she calls an as he starts to lean in I abruptly pull back. I don't know this guy he could be a predator or a frog for all I know. He flinches when I pull back and lifts his hand to take of his mask (this unfortunately once again is a moment in my life I wish to forget) and I am met with the beautiful eyes of …CHRISTIAN GREY!?

 **I stayed up pretty late to finish this so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. My chapters will be around this length or longer from now on and I promise that this is now where the main plot point begins. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks – S x**


	3. NOTE

**Hi everyone,**

 **I just wanted to write a note on a few things that I need to establish about this story:**

 **Ana can't remember the real reason as to why Christian and she hate each other so much. This is something that will be revealed in later chapters through Christians POV.**

 **There will be no BDSM I this story as I am taking it in a different direction.**

 **This will be a slow burn but eventually they will be together.**

 **Ana hates Christian because he 'seems' to hate her but eventually she will find out why like you will. Christian had always been rude to Ana so being the strong woman she is of course she fights back.**

 **Please be patient, this is my first fanfic so I'm just trying to work things out and do the best I can. Chapter 3 will be up in the next few days.**

 **Thanks – S x**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the reviews and follows. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Christian is 29 and Ana is 23 (Four years later). I will be doing flashbacks with Christian to when he was younger as this will reveal his 'hate' for Ana and vice versa. So just remember they are 6 years apart.**

 **All characters belong to E. .**

… CHRISTIAN GREY!?

The smile I held for the beautiful stranger literally dropped from my face. My inner self smirked ' _not a beautiful stranger now Ana'._ The look on Christians face mirrored my own, he looked as pale as a sheet and in that moment I found it hard not to burst out laughing at how stupid he looked. I refrained and the silence was now filled with Christian's cold voice. "Anastasia, it's been a while" I look at him, not just a glance or a glare but I actually look at him. I realise how his eyes are like the moon so dark yet so beautiful, how his face has been chiselled by the Gods and how his mouth looks so kissab- ANASTASIA WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!. "Hello Christian" I say it breathless after my slight slip up before, I mean why was I thinking about kissing Christian grey. I honestly need more sleep. An awkward silence then met us and he had obviously had enough "Well it was nice seeing you again Miss Steele" I smirk at his pleasantries "Likewise Mr Grey". He turns away but not before I can catch the slight smirk that had settled on his face.

As I am walking back to my seat I am ambushed by Mia. "Ana who did you dance with? Did you get his number? I cannot believe he paid 100,000 for you!" I laugh outright. "Mia slow down, I have a boyfriend and that man was giving to a good charity. It wasn't a marriage proposal or anything" She frowns when I mention José but does not say anything. Mia and I have had numerous arguments about Jose and she knows not to push too much. She thinks that I'm too good for him or that he is just using me. But Mia doesn't know him like I do, no one does. Mia sighs "Oh well, your right it is for a wonderful cause. By the way have you seen Christian around? I thought he would be here by now but I haven't managed to find him" I freeze should I tell her? No. No I can't she'll either make it something that it's not or make fun of me for the rest of my life. "No sorry Mia – Maybe check the bar?" She agrees and rushes to the bar where id previously noted where Christian was standing. Wait why had I noted that? I need home, I need a reality check before I do something I regret.

After a few quick goodbyes and hugs I rush out the back entrance to call a taxi. I suddenly feel like I can breathe again until my legs start to give way and my life literally flashes before my eyes (dramatic I know). That is until two strong arms catch me just as I nearly hit the ground. Once again I am peering into the eyes of Christian Grey and neither of us are happy about it. "Christian please remove your arms from me" He growls "Well we wouldn't be in this position if you had watched where you were going. In the future you should take better care Anastasia" Inner me screams. Who the hell does he think he is? He is talking to me like my mother would (or should). I feel his breathe on my neck and his eyes are sinking into mine. Once again Christian grey has caught me off guard. I shake myself out of the moment and stand upright as I see the taxi pulling up on the curb. I turn to Christian and he turns to me. "Anastasia" "Christian". I get into the taxi and head home where José is hopefully waiting.

 **Christian**

 _20 Years old_

Today is my birthday. Carrick and grace have brought me a new car. It's more than I deserve. Mia has invited her friend again. Anastasia. Her presence haunts me. She is so light, so full of deserving joy and I am alone even with those who adore me even with those who go to extraordinary lengths to provide for me. The thing is when your childhood gets fucked up so does the rest of your life – and no matter how much love and happiness is thrown my way I will never truly be happy.

I walk to my room when a figure moves at the corner of my eye. I turn and standing in front of me is Anastasia with her soft doe eyes and her aroma practically dripping with innocence. I smirk because she look scared almost like a dear caught in headlights. "Anastasia, anything I can do for you?" she smiled which was weird and then giggled. Her hot and apparently alcohol laced breath blew onto my face. "You've been drinking!? You're what 14 - What the fuck are you and Mia playing at?" She froze and the soft giggles that once filled the air disappeared. She reached her hand forward and pushed him slightly "havin fun Mr. boring – we are liviinnn life unlike youuuu " I scoffed and stepped closer to her so our toes were touching "you know nothing about me Anastasia" she whimpered and the words that tumbled out of her mouth would forever remain in his heart. " well I do know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree if you know what I mean" and the world stopped.

 **Finally I know it's been a while. I will be uploading again as soon as I can. There is a part two to Christians POV which I will add to the next chapter.**

 **Thanks – S x**


	5. note (will be deleted)

Hey,

So one thing I swore I'd never do is abandon a story, yet that's exactly what I've done. 2017 was not my year at all and I am extremely thankful for the New Year. I am sorry to have left you all waiting for an update for so long but I had a very hard year and I couldn't find any reason to write. The next chapter will be posted sometime this January and I will endeavour to update monthly.

S x


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